Ready for a knife that only Chuck Norris can handle? The manufacturer boasts that this knife has 87 tool implements and 141 functions! Check out these funny Amazon Swiss Army Knife reviews. Make sure you read to the bottom. I've included some hilarious questions and answers as well.
"I tried to file my nails, but in the process I accidentally fixed a small engine that was near by. Which was nice"
"I let my son use the scoop attachment to dig some sand while playing in a sandbox. Had to leave him for just under a minute to get some lemonade, and came back to this..."
"I bought this for my wife for her birthday. She has not asked me to fix anything since. Our house has been totally remodeled. We are now married 31 years. It is cheaper than a divorce and much faster than counseling!"
"With this, I once fought off a family of hungry grizzlies by simply pulling it out of my pocket. They apologized for the inconvenience and left."
"While in total awe of this amazing device I unintentionally attempted to pass a TSA check point with the Wenger in my luggage. Well lets just put it this way, the US Supreme Court just ruled that I'm the only guy in the country which no longer has ANY protections under the constitution. I'm writing this review on toilet paper from my cell at Guantanamo and will have to do unspeakable things to get this review carried back to the states and posted on Amazon."
"It's rumored that the Wenger 16999 has the only weapon that can kill Chuck Norris... The only problem is that Chuck Norris is the only one powerful enough to release the weapon from the Wenger."
Funny Amazon Swiss Army Knife
Question and Answers
Q:My wife is 900lbs. bless her heart. she eats a whole chicken every 30 minutes. i need tools to kill chickens. will this work?
A:This will help your wife lose weight
By Donovan on April 28, 2019
Q:Can only Chuck Norris use this lnife?
A:Chuck norris is not allowed to use this knife. The combined power would rip apart the very fabric of the universe, destroying reality as we know it.
By D.C on February 7, 2018
Question: What?? No cowbell?
Answer: If you look closely in the 1300th row, there is indeed a cowbell...it's right next to the full-size mandolin. By Johnny Bangs on May 27, 2014
Question: Sure it can file my nails, but can it file my taxes without causing one of those Unpleasant follow-up visits from the IRS?
Answer: Sadly this knife will only file the 1040 EZ form. You will need to upgrade to the Wenger 16999 v2.0 if you file on the 1040. That's the bad news the good news is that the Wenger v2.0 does qualify as a dependent, unless it files itself as head of house hold. Either way a win for you. I have also heard that v2.0 holds a federal tax license, so in the event that you are audited by the IRS, it can represent you in your local federal tax court. see less Eric · June 17, 2014
Question: How am I supposed to hold this?
Answer: You don't hold the 16999, it holds you. Clint · June 10, 2014
Question: is this a joke?
Answer: Is oxygen a joke? I think we all know the answer. Yura Ritard · May 27, 2014
Question: Does it come with a trailer? 7 pounds is a lot to be carrying around
Answer: There is an optional scaffold assembly that reinforces the inner trouser leg up to your pocket. The downside being that you will be walking like a younger Forrest Gump. K. McKinlay · March 15, 2017
If you think you can handle the Wenger 16999, then go ahead and click the button below to purchase!