Updated: Dec 28, 2022
Do you toil and struggle day after day, trying to cut bananas? You are not alone... Introducing the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer. We have the best Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer reviews on Amazon, picked from over 7,049 ratings!
Best Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer Reviews
"For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger.
Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story."
"This past Christmas was my girlfriend and I's first Christmas together. Things have been going great and needless to say, I really wanted to impress her and get her a gift she would never forget. The first obvious choice was jewelry because all women love jewelry. But I thought "this is no average woman, she deserves more than an average gift".
I put in my order and the Hutzler 571 arrived promptly at my doorstep.
At first, she had no clue what it could have been due to the odd shape of the package (it's banana shaped).
I could see the wheels starting to turn and a bright smile shot across her face. She leaped up off the couch and jumped into my arms hugging me and kissing me. "How did you know?" she said. In all her life, she never imagined she would meet a man as amazing as me and I really proved my value with the greatest gift she had ever received."
"I don't know how they expect anyone to use this device without an instruction guide. It's just too complicated. Where do the batteries go? Where is the USB port? There isn't even a user pdf available for download. Fortunately, we were able to complete assembly on our own based on years of IKEA experience, but good luck to the novice. "Banana Slicing For Dummies" was also a helpful resource, but we really expected not to have to spend $49.99 on a book.
In any case, the device doesn't include bananas, so the advertising is deceptive. One alternative is a $5,000 high quality 3D printer and software to print your own banana slicer. The "flip horizontal" function will allow you to print versions for bananas that curve left and for those that curve right. This is a more useful option for the serious banana enthusiast."
"Over a month ago I purchased this product to help gain the affection of my girlfriend. I heard of promises of "better love making" and "stronger relations from less fighting over who has to slice the daily bananas.
Naturally, it sounded like an obvious investment. However, when it arrived (along with my pokeball drinking cups, which were awesome) it was a nuisance from the start..."
"I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row...
But my life was not complete until I got the 571B banana slicer."
Are you longing for something different in your life? If so, this might be what you are missing. Buy this for you and all your loved ones. You can thank me later...
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